Your wedding that you dreamed, planned, cried about, lost out on sleep, is finally over. The house lights have come on, the floor is being swept, and your vendors are packing up, casting glances at both you and the clock.
They don’t want to say it, but they are wondering how well they did that night. Did they meet your expectations? Did you enjoy the food, the atmosphere, the decorations? Would you recommend them to your friends and family?
Finally, as the vendors make the rounds to say goodbye, there is a sense of anticipation in the air. A quick smile, a few words of thanks, and a subtle handshake and they are on their way. You just made the vendor’s night, for in their hand, you pressed what for some has become a sense of validation for the job well done. The tip.
Now, yes, the tip is not something that you normally think about. There are some people that find it even in poor taste to talk about. Some whisper behind their hands about what amount to even tip a vendor. For some of the bigger vendors, a gratuity had been included in the contract. But here are some things to think about in tipping your smaller business vendor.
New Business: That florist you hired? She might have just started out her new business, maybe two years ago after quitting her high paying corporate job. She spent hours pouring over plant websites, taking floral arrangement classes, and figuring out the best combination of colors that would look best next to each other. Business is good, and in the black, but that tip helps put gas into her car and keep it maintained so she can use it as her life blood for her deliveries during the week when she is not assisting at a wedding.
Maintaining Equipment: That DJ or Band that you loved and kept your guests up and dancing the whole night? They might have found out as they were putting away the equipment afterwards that there was a tiny hole in the fabric of their speakers, there was a tiny crack in one of the projection screens, or that the dolly that they were using has a loose handle. There is a lot of overhead that they have to deal with. That tip can help them repair some of their equipment until they can find a better replacement.
Self-Improvement: Did you love the exotic flavors that your caterer created? Did they remember which one of your guests was vegan, which had the gluten allergy, and which was the fussy eater? Your caterer might have found a class that was being offered by a local chef that focused on how to make the perfect radish flower or how to make savory desserts that looked like local wildlife. The same goes for the bartender who had to learn new tricks or prepare the special bride’s cocktail.
Assistants: Did your fabulous wedding planner come with a team? Did it seem like she was in four places at once, placating your anxious parents, calming down the suddenly shy flower girl, directing the bartender to his rightful place, and making sure that the timeline of events went off without a hitch? The wedding planner’s assistants were able to make her job run a lot smoother and alert her to any possible hitches before they became big time glitches. They are her right hands and made her look even better than you imagined. She needs to keep them happy too.
Donations: Getting married in a church? The officiant that performed the ceremony is working on God’s grace and their tip goes back to the church and possibly into one of their many programs to help the poor and the needy.
Advertising : The venue that you loved. Did you hear about it through social media or did you see a billboard advertising it? They need to keep up appearances and make sure that even when business is slow, they can maintain a following. They might have hired a PR specialist in the offseason to help them get more foot traffic.
Who gets to hold the tip? Usually the Father of the Bride or your trustworthy wedding planner. “If you hand out your gratuity envelopes before your wedding, the vendors will be more likely to go above and beyond for you on your special day,” says David Tutera, an event planner.
Uncomfortable spending money as a tip? Other ways to show your appreciation towards your vendors: Book them for another party, promote them on social media, a gift card or a bottle of wine.
For specific suggestions, see this “Tipper’s Table,” excerpted from event planner Mindy Weiss’s The Wedding Book ($23, amazon.com ):
Bartenders: 10 percent of the total liquor bill (to be split among them)
Bathroom Attendants: $1 to $2 per guest
Catering Manager: $200+ or a personal gift
Chef: $100+
Coat Check Attendants: $1 to $2 per guest
Hairstylist: 15 to 20 percent
Hotel Chambermaids: $2 to $5 per room; $10 to $15 if you used a suite as your dressing room
Limo or Bus Drivers: 15 percent
Maitre d’hotel or Headwaiter: 1 to 3 percent of food and beverage fees
Makeup Artist: 15 to 20 percent
Musicians: 15 percent of fee for ceremony musicians; $25 to $50 per musician for reception
Photographer/Videographer: If you’re paying a flat fee with no overtime, $100
Valet or Parking Attendants: $1 to $2 per car; 15 percent for valet parking
Waiters: $20 and up each (distributed by the catering manager or maitre d’)
Wedding planner: 15 percent of fee or a personal gift
